*deep frustrated sigh of dissatisfaction*
I had not expected to come into the New Moon phase with such negative emotions… and yet, here I am. To be totally honest, I screwed up my energy Thursday. I couldn’t leave the bed for 24 hours and I’m still not feeling 100%. I fell off on my tarot reading that day (but I did keep up with 23 days at least) and just all around fell into a funk. I had not started working out like I had wanted, but I was happy that I rescued my cat from my mother’s house. She’s as happy as can be, in case you were wondering.
Anywho, my yesterday was just another nail in the proverbial coffin that had given residence to my carefree-ness and carpe diem attitude. I awoke to my grandmother and brother spreading their negative energy throughout the house with an age old argument about how disrespectful he is (which is true) and how she has no filter (which she doesn’t). I tend to lean towards my grandmother’s side of things; because, of course, my brother is disrespectful. But he’s no longer under my roof so that’s some baggage I can let go of.
Then, later that same day, my dog was attacked by a wild pack in the neighborhood, sustaining life threatening injuries. Can you imagine the emotional rollercoaster I was on? I haven’t cried that long or that hard in a while and this in no way felt cleansing. I’m damn near close to tears now. We were able to get him to the emergency vet and they stitched him up, but then he racked up a $1200 that I do not have. My uncle came through to save the day but he’s expecting his money back ASAP. I don’t know what I’m going to do.
So, my new moon ritual was delayed. And I didn’t go into it with the clearest of heads or the steadiest of hearts. I tried to focus on the feelings of hope new beginnings give, while allowing myself to believe that it is okay to make mistakes as long as the results don’t fester. I feel a lot of festering right now.
I feel like I’m about to have an emotional breakdown.
So much for new moon manifestations…